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shanethepainter
17-02-2008, 09:46 PM
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?"

Granny replies,"F**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"


Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.

Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks,"Dad, what ' s love juice?"

Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about s*x.

Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad says,"So what were you watchin ' ?"

Billy says,"Wimbledon."


A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband,"I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment."

He replies,"Your eyesight is perfect."


Wife gets naked & asks hubby,"What turns you on more, my pretty face or my s&xy body?"

Hubby looks her up & down and replies,"Your sense of humour!"

Scrivo
17-02-2008, 09:49 PM
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was

really pissed.


She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the

driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"


The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke

up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box

gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.


Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought

the box back in the house.


She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.


Bob has been missing since Friday.